Fathers Permission for a Girl’s Marriage

لَا تَزَوَّجُ ذَوَاتُ الْآبَاءِ مِنَ الْأَبْكَارِ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ آبَائِهِنَّ.

“Abu ‘ Abd Allah (a.s.), has said, ‘A virgin woman who has her father must not marry without his permission.’”

لَا تُسْتَأْمَرُ الْجَارِيَةُ إِذَا كَانَتْ بَيْنَ أَبَوَيْهَا لَيْسَ لَهَا مَعَ الْأَبِ أَمْرٌ وَ قَالَ يَسْتَأْمِرُهَا كُلُّ أَحَدٍ مَا عَدَا الْأَبَ‌[1].

“One of the two Imam, (abu Ja’far or abu ‘Abd Allah), ‘Alayhim al-Salam, has said, ‘A virgin girl when living with her parents cannot appoint anyone to solemnize her marriage. In the absence of her father anyone can ask her to be appointed as her guardian.’”

يُؤَامِرُهَا فَإِنْ سَكَتَتْ فَهُوَ إِقْرَارُهَا وَ إِنْ أَبَتْ لَمْ يُزَوِّجْهَا وَ إِنْ قَالَتْ زَوِّجْنِي فُلَاناً فَلْيُزَوِّجْهَا مِمَّنْ تَرْضَى وَ الْيَتِيمَةُ فِي حَجْرِ الرَّجُلِ لَا يُزَوِّجْهَا إِلَّا بِرِضَاهَا[2].

“This is concerning my question before abu ‘Abd Allah, Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a man who wants to give his sister in marriage. He (the Imam) said, ‘He must have her permission and if she remains quiet it is her affirmation. If she refuses he must not give her in marriage, if she says, “Give me in marriage to

لَيْسَ لَهَا مَعَ أَبِيهَا أَمْرٌ إِذَا أَنْكَحَهَا جَازَ نِكَاحُهُ وَ إِنْ كَانَتْ كَارِهَةً قَالَ وَ سُئِلَ عَنْ رَجُلٍ يُرِيدُ أَنْ يُزَوِّجَ أُخْتَهُ قَالَ يُؤَامِرُهَا فَإِنْ سَكَتَتْ فَهُوَ إِقْرَارُهَا وَ إِنْ أَبَتْ لَمْ يُزَوِّجْهَا[1].

“This is concerning my question before abu ‘Abd Allah, Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a man who gives his daughter in marriage to someone without her permission. He (the Imam) said, ‘With the existence of her father she has no say and commandments. If he gives her in marriage it is permissible even if she dislikes.

لَا تُسْتَأْمَرُ الْجَارِيَةُ الَّتِي بَيْنَ أَبَوَيْهَا إِذَا أَرَادَ أَبُوهَا أَنْ يُزَوِّجَهَا هُوَ أَنْظَرُ لَهَا وَ أَمَّا الثَّيِّبُ فَإِنَّهَا تُسْتَأْذَنُ وَ إِنْ كَانَتْ بَيْنَ أَبَوَيْهَا إِذَا أَرَادَا أَنْ يُزَوِّجَاهَا.

“Abu ‘Abd Allah, Alayhi al-Salam, has said, ‘The girl who is with her parents cannot appoint someone (to solemnize her marriage) when her father wants to give her in marriage; he is more careful than her. A woman for her second marriage must be asked for her permission if she lives with her parents and they want to giv

سَأَلْتُ أَبَا الْحَسَنِ الرِّضَا ع- عَنِ الْجَارِيَةِ الصَّغِيرَةِ يُزَوِّجُهَا أَبُوهَا أَ لَهَا أَمْرٌ إِذَا بَلَغَتْ قَالَ لَا لَيْسَ لَهَا مَعَ أَبِيهَا أَمْرٌ قَالَ وَ سَأَلْتُهُ عَنِ الْبِكْرِ إِذَا بَلَغَتْ مَبْلَغَ النِّسَاءِ أَ لَهَا مَعَ أَبِيهَا أَمْرٌ قَالَ لَا لَيْسَ لَهَا مَعَ أَبِيهَا أَمْرٌ مَا لَمْ تَكْبَرْ[2].

“I once asked al-Rida’, Alayhi al-Salam, about the case of a small girl whose father wanted to give her in marriage: if she had any commandment. He (the Imam) said, ‘No, with the existence of her father she has no commandments.’ I then asked about a virgin who has grown like other woman; if she has any commandment with

كَتَبَ بَعْضُ بَنِي عَمِّي إِلَى أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ الثَّانِي ع مَا تَقُولُ فِي صَبِيَّةٍ زَوَّجَهَا عَمُّهَا فَلَمَّا كَبِرَتْ أَبَتِ التَّزْوِيجَ فَكَتَبَ بِخَطِّهِ لَا تُكْرَهُ عَلَى ذَلِكَ وَ الْأَمْرُ أَمْرُهَا[3].

“Certain ones of sons of my uncle wrote to abu Ja’far al-Thaniy (a.s.), asking about the small girl whom her uncle gave in marriage to someone and when she grew up she disagreed with the marriage. He (the Imam) wrote back in his own handwriting, ‘She must not be forced, and the command is her command.”’

قَالَ أَبُو الْحَسَنِ ع‌ فِي الْمَرْأَةِ الْبِكْرِ إِذْنُهَا صُمَاتُهَا وَ الثَّيِّبِ أَمْرُهَا إِلَيْهَا.

"In the case of a virgin, her remaining quiet is her permission, and a woman for her second marriage has her own command and power of decision making."

سَأَلْتُ أَبَا الْحَسَنِ ع- عَنِ الصَّبِيَّةِ يُزَوِّجُهَا أَبُوهَا ثُمَّ يَمُوتُ وَ هِيَ صَغِيرَةٌ فَتَكْبَرُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يَدْخُلَ بِهَا زَوْجُهَا أَ يَجُوزُ عَلَيْهَا التَّزْوِيجُ أَوِ الْأَمْرُ إِلَيْهَا قَالَ يَجُوزُ عَلَيْهَا تَزْوِيجُ أَبِيهَا[4].

“I once asked abu al-Hassan (a.s.), about the case of a small girl whose father gave her in marriage, but he died before her husband went to bed with her; if her marriage was permissible or it was it up to her to decide. He (the Imam) said, ‘Her father’s giving in marriage is permissible.’”