Kindness to Parents

سَأَلْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع عَنْ قَوْلِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ- وَ بِالْوالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً[2] مَا هَذَا الْإِحْسَانُ فَقَالَ الْإِحْسَانُ أَنْ تُحْسِنَ صُحْبَتَهُمَا وَ أَنْ لَا تُكَلِّفَهُمَا أَنْ يَسْأَلَاكَ شَيْئاً مِمَّا يَحْتَاجَانِ إِلَيْهِ وَ إِنْ كَانَا مُسْتَغْنِيَيْنِ‌[3] أَ لَيْسَ يَقُولُ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ- لَنْ تَنالُوا الْبِرَّ حَتَّى تُنْفِقُوا مِمَّا تُحِبُّونَ‌[4] قَالَ ثُمَّ قَالَ أَبُو عَ

“I asked Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) about the meaning of ‘kindness’ in the words of Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, ‘. . . and that you must be kind to your parents. . . .’ (17:23) The Imam said, ‘It means to behave with them in a good manner, not to make them ask you for help, even though they are self-sufficient.

سَمِعْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع يَقُولُ‌ إِنَّ رَجُلًا أَتَى النَّبِيَّ ص فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَوْصِنِي فَقَالَ‌ لا تُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ‌ شَيْئاً وَ إِنْ حُرِّقْتَ بِالنَّارِ وَ عُذِّبْتَ إِلَّا وَ قَلْبُكَ مُطْمَئِنٌّ بِالْإِيمَانِ وَ وَالِدَيْكَ فَأَطِعْهُمَا[3] وَ بَرَّهُمَا حَيَّيْنِ كَانَا أَوْ مَيِّتَيْنِ وَ إِنْ أَمَرَاكَ أَنْ تَخْرُجَ مِنْ أَهْلِكَ وَ مَالِكَ فَافْعَلْ فَإِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنَ الْإِيمَانِ.

“I heard Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) saying, ‘Once a man came to the Holy Prophet and said, “O Messenger of Allah, give me a good advice.” The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Do not consider anything as partner of Allah even if you are tortured with fire except when your heart is confident with belief. You must obey your parents an

يَأْتِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ شَيْ‌ءٌ مِثْلُ الْكُبَّةِ[4] فَيَدْفَعُ فِي ظَهْرِ الْمُؤْمِنِ فَيُدْخِلُهُ الْجَنَّةَ فَيُقَالُ هَذَا الْبِرُّ.

“On the Day of Judgment something will suddenly come behind the believer, rush him forward and admit him in paradise. It will be said, ‘This is kindness.’”

قُلْتُ أَيُّ الْأَعْمَالِ أَفْضَلُ قَالَ الصَّلَاةُ لِوَقْتِهَا وَ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَ الْجِهَادُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ.

“I asked Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) ‘Which deed is the best?’ The Imam said, ‘Prayer in its proper time, kindness to parents and hard work to strive for the cause of Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy.’”

سَأَلَ رَجُلٌ رَسُولَ اللَّه ص- مَا حَقُّ الْوَالِدِ عَلَى وَلَدِهِ قَالَ لَا يُسَمِّيهِ بِاسْمِهِ وَ لَا يَمْشِي بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ وَ لَا يَجْلِسُ قَبْلَهُ وَ لَا يَسْتَسِبُّ لَهُ‌[1].

“Once, a man asked the Messenger of Allah, ‘What is the right of the father on the son?’ The messenger of Allah said, ‘The son must not address his father by his name (first name), must not walk in front of him, must not take a seat before him, and must not cause people to abuse him.’”

قَالَ وَ أَنَا عِنْدَهُ لِعَبْدِ الْوَاحِدِ الْأَنْصَارِيِ‌ فِي بِرِّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ فِي قَوْلِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ- وَ بِالْوالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً فَظَنَنَّا أَنَّهَا الْآيَةُ الَّتِي فِي بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ- وَ قَضى‌ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَ بِالْوالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً فَلَمَّا كَانَ بَعْدُ سَأَلْتُهُ فَقَالَ هِيَ الَّتِي فِي لُقْمَانَ- وَ وَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسانَ بِوالِدَيْهِ‌ حُسْناً وَ إِنْ جاهَد

“Once the Imam spoke to ‘Abd al- Wahid al-Ansari, while I was present, about kindness to parents mentioned in the words of Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, ‘Be kind to parents.’ We thought it was the verse in Chapter Seventeen that says, ‘. . . the Lord has ordained that you must not worship anyone other than H

قَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع‌ مَا يَمْنَعُ الرَّجُلَ مِنْكُمْ أَنْ يَبَرَّ وَالِدَيْهِ حَيَّيْنِ وَ مَيِّتَيْنِ يُصَلِّيَ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَتَصَدَّقَ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَحُجَّ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَصُومَ عَنْهُمَا فَيَكُونَ الَّذِي صَنَعَ لَهُمَا وَ لَهُ مِثْلُ ذَلِكَ فَيَزِيدَهُ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ بِبِرِّهِ وَ صِلَتِهِ خَيْراً كَثِيراً.

7. It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from Muhammad ibn Ali from al-Hakam ibn Miskin from Muhammad ibn Marwan who has said the following: “Abu ‘Abd Allah (a.s.) has said, ‘Nothing prevents any of you from doing kindness to your parents, who are living or dead, in the form of prayer for them, giving

قُلْتُ لِأَبِي الْحَسَنِ الرِّضَا ع أَدْعُو لِوَالِدَيَّ إِذَا كَانَا لَا يَعْرِفَانِ الْحَقَّ قَالَ ادْعُ لَهُمَا وَ تَصَدَّقْ عَنْهُمَا وَ إِنْ كَانَا حَيَّيْنِ لَا يَعْرِفَانِ الْحَقَّ فَدَارِهِمَا فَإِنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ص قَالَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَعَثَنِي بِالرَّحْمَةِ لَا بِالْعُقُوقِ.

‘Pray for them and give charity on their behalf. If they are living and do not know the truth, be kind to them; the Messenger of Allah has said, “Allah has sent me with (message of) kindness and not to punish.’”

جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ ص فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَنْ أَبَرُّ قَالَ أُمَّكَ قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ‌ أُمَّكَ قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ أُمَّكَ قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ أَبَاكَ.

“Once a man came to the Holy Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be kind?’ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Be kind to your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then whom?’ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then whom?’ The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then who

أَتَى رَجُلٌ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ص فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي رَاغِبٌ فِي الْجِهَادِ نَشِيطٌ[1] قَالَ فَقَالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُّ ص فَجَاهِدْ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ فَإِنَّكَ إِنْ تُقْتَلْ تَكُنْ حَيّاً عِنْدَ اللَّهِ تُرْزَقْ وَ إِنْ تَمُتْ فَقَدْ وَقَعَ أَجْرُكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ وَ إِنْ رَجَعْتَ رَجَعْتَ مِنَ الذُّنُوبِ كَمَا وُلِدْتَ قَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ لِي وَالِدَيْنِ كَبِيرَيْنِ يَزْعُمَانِ أَنَّهُمَا يَأْ

“Once a man came to the Messenger of Allah and said, ‘I am interested in Jihad (joining the army) O Messenger of Allah. I am active and light.’ The Imam said, ‘The Holy Prophet said, “Do Jihad (join the army) in the way of Allah, if you will be killed you will be living with Allah and will receive sustenance. If you di

كُنْتُ نَصْرَانِيّاً فَأَسْلَمْتُ وَ حَجَجْتُ فَدَخَلْتُ عَلَى أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع- فَقُلْتُ إِنِّي كُنْتُ عَلَى النَّصْرَانِيَّةِ وَ إِنِّي أَسْلَمْتُ فَقَالَ وَ أَيَّ شَيْ‌ءٍ رَأَيْتَ فِي الْإِسْلَامِ‌[2] قُلْتُ قَوْلُ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَ‌ ما كُنْتَ تَدْرِي مَا الْكِتابُ وَ لَا الْإِيمانُ‌ وَ لكِنْ جَعَلْناهُ نُوراً نَهْدِي بِهِ مَنْ نَشاءُ[3] فَقَالَ لَقَدْ هَدَاكَ اللَّهُ ثُمَّ قَالَ اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِهِ ثَلَا

“I was a Christian, then I became a Muslim. I went for Hajj, where I met Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) and I said to him, ‘I was a Christian and I have become a Muslim.’ The Imam asked, ‘What have you seen in Islam?’ I said, ‘They are the words of Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, “. . . before, you did not even know wha

خَبَّرْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع بِبِرِّ إِسْمَاعِيلَ ابْنِي بِي فَقَالَ لَقَدْ كُنْتُ أُحِبُّهُ وَ قَدِ ازْدَدْتُ لَهُ حُبّاً إِنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ص أَتَتْهُ أُخْتٌ لَهُ مِنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ[5] فَلَمَّا نَظَرَ إِلَيْهَا سُرَّ بِهَا وَ بَسَطَ مِلْحَفَتَهُ‌[6] لَهَا فَأَجْلَسَهَا عَلَيْهَا ثُمَّ أَقْبَلَ يُحَدِّثُهَا وَ يَضْحَكُ فِي وَجْهِهَا ثُمَّ قَامَتْ وَ ذَهَبَتْ وَ جَاءَ أَخُوهَا فَلَمْ يَصْنَعْ بِهِ مَا صَنَعَ بِ

“Once I explained to Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) how kind my son Isma’il was to me. The Imam said, ‘I loved him before and this has increased my love for him. Once, the sister of the Messenger of Allah (through breast-feeding) visited him. When he saw her he became very happy to see her, prepared a seat for her, began to talk

قُلْتُ لِأَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع إِنَّ أَبِي قَدْ كَبِرَ جِدّاً وَ ضَعُفَ فَنَحْنُ نَحْمِلُهُ إِذَا أَرَادَ الْحَاجَةَ فَقَالَ إِنِ اسْتَطَعْتَ أَنْ تَلِيَ ذَلِكَ مِنْهُ فَافْعَلْ وَ لَقِّمْهُ بِيَدِكَ فَإِنَّهُ جُنَّةٌ لَكَ غَداً.

“Once I said to Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) ‘My father has become very old and weak. We pick him up and help him for the restrooms.’ The Imam said, ‘If you can, you should do all of this for him and feed him with your own hand; it is paradise for you tomorrow. ’”

سَمِعْتُ رَجُلًا يَقُولُ- لِأَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع إِنَّ لِي أَبَوَيْنِ مُخَالِفَيْنِ فَقَالَ بَرَّهُمَا كَمَا تَبَرُّ الْمُسْلِمِينَ مِمَّنْ يَتَوَلَّانَا[1].

‘My parents are against us (our belief).’ The Imam said, ‘Be kind to them just as Muslims who follow us are kind (to their parents).”’

ثَلَاثٌ لَمْ يَجْعَلِ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ لِأَحَدٍ فِيهِنَّ رُخْصَةً أَدَاءُ الْأَمَانَةِ إِلَى الْبَرِّ وَ الْفَاجِرِ وَ الْوَفَاءُ بِالْعَهْدِ لِلْبَرِّ وَ الْفَاجِرِ وَ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ بَرَّيْنِ كَانَا أَوْ فَاجِرَيْنِ.

‘‘There are three things in which Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, has not given any concession: safely returning of the trust to appropriate people, regardless of their being good or evil people, keeping the promise for good or evil people, and being kind to parents whether of good or of evil manners.”

مِنَ السُّنَّةِ وَ الْبِرِّ أَنْ يُكَنَّى الرَّجُلُ بِاسْمِ أَبِيهِ.

“Abu ‘Abd Allah (a.s.) has said, ‘It is of tradition and virtue to adopt al-Kunyah (like abu’ meaning father of or ‘Ibn’) of the name of one’s father.’”

جَاءَ رَجُلٌ وَ سَأَلَ النَّبِيَّ ص عَنْ بِرِّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ فَقَالَ ابْرَرْ أُمَّكَ ابْرَرْ أُمَّكَ ابْرَرْ أُمَّكَ ابْرَرْ أَبَاكَ ابْرَرْ أَبَاكَ ابْرَرْ أَبَاكَ وَ بَدَأَ بِالْأُمِّ قَبْلَ الْأَبِ.

“Once a man came to the Holy Prophet and asked about kindness to parents. The Holy Prophet said, ‘Be kind to your mother, be kind to your mother, be kind to your mother, be kind to your father, be kind to your father, and be kind to your father. He began with mother before the father.’”

جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ ص فَقَالَ إِنِّي قَدْ وَلَدْتُ بِنْتاً وَ رَبَّيْتُهَا حَتَّى إِذَا بَلَغَتْ فَأَلْبَسْتُهَا وَ حَلَّيْتُهَا ثُمَّ جِئْتُ بِهَا إِلَى قَلِيبٍ فَدَفَعْتُهَا فِي جَوْفِهِ وَ كَانَ آخِرُ مَا سَمِعْتُ مِنْهَا وَ هِيَ تَقُولُ يَا أَبَتَاهْ‌[3]- فَمَا كَفَّارَةُ ذَلِكَ قَالَ أَ لَكَ أُمٌّ حَيَّةٌ قَالَ لَا قَالَ فَلَكَ خَالَةٌ حَيَّةٌ قَالَ نَعَمْ قَالَ فَابْرَرْهَا فَإِنَّهَا بِمَنْزِلَةِ الْ

“Once a man came to the Holy Prophet and said, ‘I had a daughter and I brought her up until she became an adult. I then dressed her up in beautiful clothes, took her to the well and threw her therein to her death and the last thing I heard from her was; O father! What is the expiation for it?’ The Messenger of Allah as

قُلْتُ لِأَبِي جَعْفَرٍ ع هَلْ يَجْزِي الْوَلَدُ وَالِدَهُ فَقَالَ لَيْسَ لَهُ جَزَاءٌ إِلَّا فِي خَصْلَتَيْنِ يَكُونُ الْوَالِدُ مَمْلُوكاً فَيَشْتَرِيهِ ابْنُهُ فَيُعْتِقُهُ أَوْ يَكُونُ عَلَيْهِ دَيْنٌ فَيَقْضِيهِ عَنْهُ.

“I asked abu Ja’far (a.s.) ‘Can a son pay back (for the favors of) a father?’ The Imam said, ‘There is no payment for him except two things: if the father is a slave and the son buys him and sets him free, or the father is in debt and the son pays it off.’”

أَتَى رَجُلٌ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ص فَقَالَ إِنِّي رَجُلٌ شَابٌّ نَشِيطٌ وَ أُحِبُّ الْجِهَادَ وَ لِي وَالِدَةٌ تَكْرَهُ ذَلِكَ فَقَالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُّ ص ارْجِعْ فَكُنْ مَعَ وَالِدَتِكَ فَوَ الَّذِي بَعَثَنِي بِالْحَقِّ نَبِيّاً لَأُنْسُهَا بِكَ لَيْلَةً خَيْرٌ مِنْ جِهَادِكَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ سَنَةً.

“Once a man came to the Messenger of Allah and said, ‘I am a young and active man and love Jihad (joining the army), but my mother does not like it.’ The Holy Prophet said, ‘Go back and stay with your mother. I swear by the One Who has sent me with the truth as a prophet that her feeling comfort because of your presenc

إِنَّ الْعَبْدَ لَيَكُونُ بَارّاً بِوَالِدَيْهِ فِي حَيَاتِهِمَا ثُمَّ يَمُوتَانِ فَلَا يَقْضِي عَنْهُمَا دُيُونَهُمَا وَ لَا يَسْتَغْفِرُ لَهُمَا فَيَكْتُبُهُ اللَّهُ عَاقّاً وَ إِنَّهُ لَيَكُونُ عَاقّاً لَهُمَا فِي حَيَاتِهِمَا غَيْرَ بَارٍّ بِهِمَا فَإِذَا مَاتَا قَضَى دَيْنَهُمَا وَ اسْتَغْفَرَ لَهُمَا فَيَكْتُبُهُ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ بَارّاً.

“A servant (of Allah) may have been kind to his parents during their lifetime but when they die he does not pay their debts, and does not ask forgiveness for them. Allah writes him as unkind (person) to parents. One may have been unkind to parents during their lifetime but after their death, when he pays off their debt